Director’s Review (Part One)

(Or: What I Did On My Holidays)

Dave Howell once again finding comic inspiration in alcohol and snuff…

(Shrug) Well, I enjoyed it.

Okay, okay, I guess you’re wanting a little more of an evaluation than that…

So, it was always going to be a risk. Celebrating OTTC’s tenth year in their eleventh year by doing a sketch revue (not what OTTC are renowned for) with a new director who doesn’t know anyone in the company, and add me in to the mix – the man who can’t keep his opinions to himself… And hey presto! Even Delia Prung would be able to tell that this was a recipe for disaster (with or without having to jump on it!) But here’s the thing… It went okay…

I’m not kidding myself into thinking that it was the best show that OTTC have ever done (it wasn’t), it wasn’t the most audience-pleasing show we’ve ever done, and it probably won’t be the one remembered as the highlight of OTTC’s glittering career…

But it did exactly what it said on the tin… (Or on the fabulous posters and programmes…)

We made people laugh – I sat there in the audience, I heard it… and there were bits where I was still genuinely laughing even on Saturday night! (of course, this may’ve just been the medication kicking in, or the hysteria… or it could be saying more about me than I realise… hmmm…)

Of course, there are things that could’ve been done differently…

We really should’ve limited the number of players to a manageable group – as it was, we were struggling with attendance issues, and then those that did turn up we later found to be only in one or two scenes… A total disorganisation on our part, and we thank those members of the company for their patience.

We should’ve been brutal with the sketches themselves… (grr grr – what? I can be butch!) And given more time, I’m sure we would’ve been (then again, we had been working on this for over a year, so I won’t hide too long behind the “out of time” excuse…! Ahem.)

And there were a few times during the rehearsal process where there was a distinct feeling of too many cooks… Because, and this is the problem with doing a comedy sketch revue, comedy is totally subjective… So what I found funny, and defended to the end, others may’ve wanted to cut from an early stage, and found themselves being shouted down by some bigmouth or other… ahem…

As it was, I was given the luxury task of doing all the noticeable direction during rehearsals, while Martin and Sue got all the grotty organisational jobs… So that worked out well for me! Woohoo! (don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll get round to beating me up later!)

There are a few personal apologies I’d like to make…

To the entire cast, to the audience, and to their poor suffering families… I’m sorry for polluting your ears with constant renditions of Glen Miller’s In The Mood…

To Tanya, Wendy 2 and Chris K… Sorry that we didn’t use you the way you deserved to be made use of…

To Steve, I’m sorry that we gave you a reputation as a plant-fancier… I’ll set the record straight right now for you all, Steve is certainly no “greenweiner”… He’s a one-sheep-man, and will be until his dying day… Right? Steve? It was just a joke… Dear god, run! He’s got an axe!

And finally, to the woman that came up to me in the interval of one of the shows, told me that she absolutely hated it, and wouldn’t be staying for the second half, I’m sorry that you couldn’t read the words “adult humour” on the poster… (meow, I know, but I couldn’t resist it!) But seriously, to those members of the audience that didn’t enjoy this show, sorry it wasn’t your cup of tea, and I promise we’ll be back on form with The Vagina Monologues, Orca The Goldfish and A Few Good Men…

This was always going to be a risk… But we got through it, and I think we did a good job…

And you know why I don’t think this show’s gonna be forgotten anytime soon…?

“Ba-da-da-duck-duck-duck-duck-banana…” mwahahahahahahahahahachokegargleahem…

Dave Howell

Director’s Review (Part Two)

Stoat Co-Director Martin Wyatt awaits admission to Dr Botschaft's "Nervenklinik"; we shan’t see his like again…

Ah, yes…it seems like only a year ago that I attended the first meeting to discuss the OTTC review- (Actually now I come to think of it, it was a year ago) And now, I sit here, alone, with just my memories…Ah, and what memories they probably were!…. If only I could remember them?… Fortunately I have made friends, here, at the hospital, with a kindly old soul called Mrs Armitage…. But wait! Things are coming back to me!!! Bananas?… Duck, duck?… Oh, my God it’s a Gemini situation!!

Look at the bunny! Look at the bunny!

Ah, guten Abend Fraulein Doktor. Is it that time of the day again?

I’m being serious now……No really, I am……You really are the nicest bunch of people anybody could wish to meet!… No, really, I never tell you as often as I should do… Well a lot of things have happened this year, and since you’ve all been very good,… yes you have,… I’ve got a xmas message…yes, I have…and I’m going to tell you all about it…

Well, another year has gone by and it is unbelievable how quickly time as passed since I last sent my Christmas message to you. I’m sure we all experience the same tree felling!

Once again it has been a very active year for me with the usual rounds of commitments and social occasions with the Swindon Lion Taming Club, The Paul Anka Club and the Historical Driving Society. All of which have given me the opportunity of making good friends with a very sad group of similar people who share my kind of interests. I’m afraid that driving these days is limited to an occasional plunge into the London Aquarium using a vintage Humber Snipe. Apart from being a crackingly good day out I find it excellent for my marmot in the knowledge that, up until now, he has been mentally fit for driving. But I never take my marmot’s mental health for granted with the advancing years!

I have also had my fair share of holidays, having visited SaltsGitter on over three thousand occasions this year. Twice on a group visit and two thousand nine hundred and ninety eight times on private visits when I stayed with my friends Manfred von Richthofen and Ilse Voss on the Isle of Wight.

Ilse paid a return visit in September when we arranged to meet at the Proms in the Royal Albert Hall to see, rather appropriately, the Irving Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra. Unfortunately we missed each other in the very crowded auditorium.

Also in September my son Nigella together with my grandsons, Duncun Goodhew and Leslie Phillips included me in their Spanish holiday. While Susan (my second cousin fourth removed) and Colin (my great grandfather’s, niece’s, sister’s, brother’s spaniel) gave me a series of enjoyable internal injuries.

Jane, Michael and family arrived for Easter and I barbequed them during their first visit to the UK .

Grandchildren Jo and Dee competed with the Three Degrees, Tom has embarked on his second year at Bristol Temple Meads while Katie is swimming towards the Philippines.

Of course, December marks the anniversary of A Stoat called Nancy’s death. A comedy sketch show written with Ryder Cup star Dave Howl and Sue-me-an-see-if-I-care-Mowat. It was an ever-so-tiny-bit stressful but, fortunately, I survived with all my mental faculties fully intact.

I know some of you have also had a traumatic year but, thank God, for me, none of you have been constantly in my thoughts and prayers… Still, may the New Year be a Happy and Healthy one for you. For myself, I shall be content to sire another marmot. Happy Xmas and a Peaceful New Year.

I’m a watch repairer.

Martin Wyatt